What are some funny and smart quotes?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 08:23

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.
“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”
They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...
How likely is it to make a living out of being a window cleaner in a Nordic country?
Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.
“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”
“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”
My son is possessed, now he has psychosis. Can someone help me?
“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”
“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”
“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”
Has anyone ever had sex with their cousin? How did it start, and would you do it again?
“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”